Religion Blog

The precious gift of Silence

From a sermon October 26, 1997
To worship in Newport, RI

Two weeks of brands today the third anniversary of a bone marrow transplant, I got to save my life with acute leukemia. My donor is still anonymous to me. I wish to dedicate what I say. I do not know if years from now I'll still talk about this event in my life, but for now is not very far from my consciousness every day and because the events of the last four years, that many aspects of me are dead (including my own bone marrow – the heart of my body) and with her old wounds, pain, core beliefs and habitual thinking. I would literally days to send you all that I learned from the experience of healing in my life during treatment for leukemia, which led to more than 10,000 hours of duty be essentially motionless and quiet, or in isolation in a hospital room or recovering at home, mostly alone. However, I will share with you today, precious few pieces of wisdom I gained with a quote and a poem, the authors of every much more eloquent than I could ever be.

In his book, The Sacred Hub: Living in the real self, Rabbi Robert for great wisdom in a little history:

"A Buddhist monk was taken to hear the Boston Symphony Orchestra perform Beethoven's 5th Symphony. When it was finished, the monk said: "Too Quiet! "

Rabbi continues to load:

"We have become friends with silence. Silence helps us to see the seductive power of our own justifications, how we become safer and proud of our ideas and our views, our views and our solutions. Silence is the communion that we call love. Silence is at the heart of all things. "

He continues:

"We are embraced by the silence and the silence cares about us deeply. In the embrace of silence, we feel the essence of living of the membrane aloud. We fall into this awareness and subtle bitterness and are cleaned fear. In silence, everything is simply, without manipulation, without fear and grasping. But this happens only happens in silence. "

When I began the arduous journey of treating leukemia which led to seven months of hospital stay and recovery over a period of 2 1 / 2 years my first recognition that I have an opportunity to finally be slowing. 4 years ago, I had an appointment book that was so full, I was really worried about taking the time to brush my teeth in the morning, so I would not do anything! I was addicted to.

In one stroke all day I did not go over with the exception of doctors, nurses, various procedures and tests, and to my horror, all have been programmed into their schedule, not mine! Very quickly I was learning that if I do let go of stress control my environment, I would certainly mad, or worse, take the path of healing powers of nature and a possible cure. This is Then I realized that every moment can be an appointment with The Great Mystery (what many call God), because I had no control over what my body would do. If I had no chance to survive at all, I was now having to turn my life to experts I have not even know … and the great mystery.

Now I'm going to concentrate on the inside. Time me seemed like an eternity. The only thing that remains to be done on time was to live every moment. As my body and bone marrow began to destroy and I began to feel increasingly ill as a result of the high dose of chemotherapy, I had no choice but to slow down more and more more. With very few globules of life left in my body, my body became very calm and quiet.

In this quiet again, I could go further in a very deep silence especially at night. In this deep place was the most exquisite feeling of gratitude. The feeling I had missed most of my life. Now that I was near death, bathed in the mystery of whether I'm out of this ordeal alive, I finally found happiness I always knew existed but had no idea how. Gratitude is a beautiful and very rewarding experience. It swells the heart with love. I appreciate so much. The view of NYC's Central Park just outside my window and the large green that goes as far as the eye can see. The daily visits and phone calls from family, friends and people I had not spoken or heard for more than thirty years. heat grandfather of my doctor and a sense of humor. All persons who have donated platelets so that my body would not be bleeding. Chemicals that entered my body destroyed almost all the cells so as to pave the way for a new healthy life to emerge. Recognizing opportunity to watch my thoughts and birth in the fall, feeling my body move in and out of discomfort, the possibility of choice and will free. Grateful for wonderful creations The Great Mystery and my partnership in this regard.

I had a disease that probably kill me I was happy?
Because I went inward and find happiness in silence. For me, this is really worship. An acknowledgment of receipt of the glory of creation and choice. And in our own heart we find it. I discovered that in my own heart, while I prayed for was there. This worship, proclamation of holiness (which is) lives in heals the deepest way. Because it brings us to the here and now, with full acceptance. There is no past. There is no future. Only in this fullness.

It was during this experience that I was able to accept the love of my mother completely for the first time. After a lifetime of pushing – often with the insensitivity and lack of compassion – because of anger at the behavior of control and fear I might even be swallowed by its pervasiveness, I finally decided to experience his love and be embraced by him. Well Naturally, I kissed him with mine. This was the end of our past. It really is more. Today I'm sitting on his lap and call her mom. I give strong tight and kisses. I cherish its physical proximity and warmth and I laugh when she does not behave like the goddess I know she is. As we come together and continue to listen and learn from each other, we are both to maturity, mutual respect and recognition that we are treasures in the lives of others. This is what I would call a miracle.

I learned that the body is a temple of wisdom and a great teacher. As there was nothing to do on days where I'd be alone for hours, I explored the changing waves of feeling and sensation were sometimes very uncomfortable and I learned to replace the judgments of acceptance. There was an awareness of the difference found between need and want. I paid attention to the vibrations of feeling and let my body speak through his rips and movements that have been expressed by my voice and the days when I was strong enough through the dance. What I knew intuitively help the new cells to be born and emerge as healthy and vital.

I could see my bone marrow as a metaphor for my life. I spent a great lot of time to transfer my sense of my bone marrow – the heart of my body is sick – and asked myself in moments of silence, "What that base in my life that must die and become "born again? I discovered while listening in the silence that had been injected belief fundamental in every interaction, every relationship, every circumstance good or bad that nothing would ever work for me. I was a victim of this and that, no matter how I tried or worked (and worked hard), or viewed an abundant life forever I mean. I then realized I could make the choice to design a new belief to replace the old malfunctioning. Although my bone marrow was dying and reborn, the roots of a lifetime of emotional pain can now be dug up and replaced with the joyful statement: All always works for me, even in death! It became my daily mantra. Imbued with this idea, the healing of body and mind began.

Although my body was dead, I came alive. My spirit is free and break the ego is transformed into an awareness of reality ultimate and it is beautiful.

As I recovered from the bone marrow, I continued to afford the luxury of time eternal. I say this because I could not foresee eternal myself the addict is not. Every day was like always. The anti-rejection drugs have been intense. I was tired. I was extremely low. Muscles had atrophied. I have been in and out of hospital with fatal infections and pneumonia.

Once the hospital stay was longer, I began to explore the freedom to make choices about how I would spend my time on impulse, the will of my body and desire. I had the world all the time. As my body I felt regenerated new strength and health news. I came out of silence. Slowly, I regained the world. I had a new vision. All creation has been wonderful. I could look at a flower for a few minutes admiring the miracle of color and texture and shape and elegance. When I moved to Newport in the midst of all this, thanks to the generosity of my family, I was able to live right on the harbor with a large lawn right outside my door that leads to the water. I was barefoot in the grass lush feel the body of the land connected to my own body and still be going into the silence which now was a trusted friend and I always knew me to this delightful state gratitude, compassion and love.

More months have been devoted to the appreciation of the insignificance of my little life, and Yet the immensity of it in respect to all life, all life and I can not see but only feel. I started practicing yoga and cried almost every day during practice or in class when I felt the surge of energy – the lifeblood of filling my body with an intensity I had never known. During my readers in New York City of my medical, I was fascinated by my ability to go exactly 50-55 miles per hour for three hours without a radio or a CD. Quiet – looking at the trees and the ground move. It is no accident that the peace and tranquility go together!

It is two years later. My life is new. And now I have more energy than I ever had. In two years I not ceased to create. I look at myself clear. My goal is clear – to help others discover their true nature – to use the crisis, illness or transition as markers of transformation. And to continue to discover where my own path leads. I learn from a standpoint different (a health) How to get into this quiet – the silence – as the turtle slow pace where everything starts. When my heart knows God.

Rabbi Robert gives us another gem:

"We can not hear the silence, we become silent. To become silence, we must enter into silence. We can not enter through the narrow passage between two thoughts. We can also enter through the fixed point where our breath is perfectly at rest between inhalation and exhalation. And again.

I can do when I slow down. But now I remember. And I find the reminders in the most unexpected places! Just yesterday I poured water from my kitchen faucet. A water saving device have been installed years. Not much water pressure. And as if the flow was too slow, we installed a water filter. It's own tap. Much narrower than the original. It took forever to fill a glass. I found myself getting impatient. The addict tries to take charge. I felt my body shrink. It was really uncomfortable. Then I remembered! "Oh, now, is to teach me slow. And I felt my feet on the ground. I let gravity take over and sank it. "Ahhh, I realize. This feels better. There anything other than the here and now. I am interested in the flow of water and the miracle it is.

"What is the link to my life?" You ask. "How do I apply to my own experience?

I do not pretend you get a life threatening disease to heal your life, love life or to commune with God. But there are things you can do every day to remind you of your essence, to enter into this lonely place where the wounds of the past have no place – Where the past and future are nonexistent. Just the reality here and now. This precious. There are so many ways – so many ways. And if you really listen, you know what it takes for you. You can see the marks. Everything is there. You just need to be careful. One thing you can do right now. Take a day off. A real day off. Not because you are sick, not because you need a mental health day, not because you have too much to do and need to catch up on the day, not to care someone else. But to experience what it's like to just be yourself and let the world go without you – to go slowly enough to notice. In the opinion of your breath, your heartbeat, your thoughts, your discomfort, your pain, your fear, your strength, your compulsion, your loudness, your nature, your love, your originality, your life, how he came to be – what you create – What's threshold in the way of your freedom.

Perhaps Rumi, the great 13th century mystic and poet Afghani said it best:

In this new love, death.
Your journey begins the other side.
Become the sky.
Take a hatchet on the prison wall.
Escape.
Walk as if someone suddenly born color.
Do it now.
You are covered by a thick cloud.
Slide the side. Die.
And silent. Silence is the sign safer than you are dead.
Your old life was a mad rush of silence.
The full moon voice
Just now.

© 2009 Miriam Goldsmith
All rights reserved

About the Author

Miriam is a communication consultant, trainer and coach for Personal Effectiveness and Leadership Development through a program called Speaking Mastery.
She holds a masters degree in Leadership Studies. Her groundbreaking work helping people conquer Stage Fright and Performance Anxiety spans almost 30 years. She travels nationwide consulting, training and coaching in companies and organizations, and with groups and individuals.

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